Stalker!!

Sunday, June 11, 2006

What I just witnessed will go down in our family history as one of the funniest things to EVER occur to anyone in this household.

DH and I have been married for nearly 15 years. When we lived in WA state, 11 years ago, we had these friends. Crazy friends. We met them when they came over to purchase some baby things we were selling via a newspaper classified. I'll call them "Sam" and "Gloria" for privacy purposes.

I was home alone when Sam and Gloria came over. They walked in and before the introductions were over, Sam was commenting on the fact that we didn't have a TV. Like we were insane or extremely weird or something. Gloria was a bit on the quiet side (to compensate for Sam's LACK of quiet, I'm sure) and I have to say, I was a bit shocked at Sam's attitude. However, it cracked me up and before they left, we had made plans to have them for dinner. (There are just some people you meet that you just KNOW you'll get along with - Sam and Gloria were those people.)

We became fast friends. Sam and DH spent a lot of time together doing work around our two homes and playing basketball. Before too long, Sam would pop over and just walk in. No knocking, no phoning to see if we were home. It was quite funny.

We had some other friends over one time and Sam pulled his walking-in-unannounced bit. He was barely in the door before he quite loudly stated "someone is chewing. That's disgusting and a retarded habit." Our other friends were extremely offended (the husband DID chew, as a matter of fact!) and after Sam had left they were not shy to let us know just how put-out they were by this "RUDE person." :snork:

Anyway, we ended up spending about 8 months with this couple before we moved out of state. Our new life was radically different from our old and we lost touch. Through the past 11 years, we would talk about Sam and how much we liked him and his matter-of-fact way of looking at life. We'd laugh as we'd remember crazy things he'd do and how much fun he was to be around. A few times we tried looking them up but couldn't find them listed anywhere.

Until last week. I did a whitepages search and there they were, back in our old home town. DH called and asked to speak to Sam... and what transpired is oh so funnny.

DH: Hey, is this Sam Smith?
Sam: Umm. yes.
DH: Did you used to live at XXX This Street?
Sam: Uhh.. yeah.
DH: You were married to Gloria - are you still?
Sam: urrr... yes
DH: and you used to drive Ford Festiva? And then you drove a van? And I helped you get a hockey table one time.
Sam: dude, you're starting to freak me out
DH: This is Joe! Remember Joe and Cherie?
Sam: no man, I don't. Who are you?? (panic entering his voice)
DH: (goes on to highlight a half dozen or so episodes from those 8 months)
Sam: (sounding really freaked out by now) - Dude, I don't know you. How do you know this stuff about me?!
DH: Sorry buddy, I'm not trying to freak you out. I'm not a stalker. We used to hang around with you and Gloria back in 199X.
Sam: I don't remember you.
DH: No problem. We're heading up there for vacation next month - maybe we'll give you a call when we're back in the area.
Sam: yeah, ok. Oh, Gloria says she knows you and remembers you. (relief in his voice)
DH: no problem, buddy. I don't want to scare ya. We'll just call you next month.

Conversation ends after a few minutes of idle chit chat about old places and faces. We don't think that when he hung up, Sam knew who we were anymore than he did when DH first called. DH hangs up the phone and says slowly, "well, that didn't go like I'd thought." Then we both burst into laughter.

Nothing like calling up and old friend only to have them have no earthly clue as to who you are. Sam DID say that the drinking he's done messed up his memory. I guess so. We can only imagine he got smacked by Gloria once he'd gotten off the phone (for being such a knuckle-head).

So, that's our tale of hilarity. To hear the conversation from my end was priceless. I could almost picture Sam covering up the mouthpiece and telling Gloria to get the shotgun, lock the doors, and call 911 on the cell phone. Ha!