UNhappily N'ever After

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Just shoot me now. Please. For the love of Mike, end my suffering. PLEASE!

It's Saturday so we decided that since we've been working like a couple of plow horses all week, it was time to go get lunch and see a movie. A nice family afternoon. Except that the movie we chose was outstandingly bereft of any artistic or enjoyment value whatsoever. And the ticket prices were outrageous!

The theater closest to us has 2 wings. The good wing with stadium seatin, comfortable roomy seats, and arm rests that move up or down. The urgh wing is the exact opposite. Narrow, uncomfortable seats, arms rests stuck down, and no stadium seating so you spend the movie looking at the hat of the guy in front of you. Thankfully, this particular movie was playing in the "good" wing.

This theater also offers discounted tickets before 4pm on weekdays and something like 2 or 3pm on weekends. Here is where we made our first mistake. We should have caught an earlier showing OR waited until another day and caught it before the discount cut-off. Because let me tell you, this movie was NOT worth $9.00 a ticket. Definitely not. In fact, after seeing it, I would even pay the $3.99 for a pay-per-view on our cable (which, with our nifty DVD burner, we can then burn to disc)... this thing isn't even worth that piddly amount.

Movie Trailer

The preview looks good enough. Has Patrick Warburton in it which normally is enough to cause us to have an enjoyable time. Not so this time - he's so droll, it's funny just to listen to him but in this particular instance, it was enough to cause one to fall asleep or wish for a power outage. He was certainly NOT funny. Nope. Not one little bit.

Sigourney Weaver is also in it. Her character was particularly annoying and grating on the nerves. Her animation was clumsy and her voice... oy. Like fingernails down a chalkboard. It wasn't pleasing at all.

The only redeeming factor were the Seven Dwarves which moved about like garden gnomes - popping here and there with incredible speed and precision. Too bad their part was like 2 seconds long.

Take my advice. Stay FAR away from this movie. Don't waste your time. I regret wasting any brain cells viewing this train wreck.

Now it's time for a nap to recover from the horror.

random WHY's?

Friday, January 12, 2007

How come the thinnest part of me is my hair? I mean, come on! What woman wants thin hair? Not a one, I guarantee you that. My hairdresser and people with THICK hair are always going on about how they wish they had fine, thin hair like mine. "It's easier to style." Puhleeze. Like you want to trade your thick, luxurious hair for my limp scraggles. I don't think so.

And excuse me lady in the restaurant, I know that I'm not the only one who wants to take that Nextel Walkie-Talkie phone from you and either shove it right down your gaping mouth or sending it sailing out the window. If I wanted to hear BEEP... static...BEEP...garbled talk...BEEP I'd go to a construction site and hang out. Ever heard of using the ear piece instead of putting it on speaker phone? I'm sure that we all are just dying to hear your husband asking when you'll be home as you holler into the phone that you "need my ME TIME." Geez, lady. I'm thinking he needs HIS time away from you! I fantasize about getting up, walking calmly over to the next person that does this, removing the phone from their sweaty hand, and stomping on it with both feet. I'd guess this would likely earn me a round of applause and a dessert on the house or something...

Speaking of WHY: hey Ebeneezer Scrooge. How's about I just GIVE you that $.45 the cashier cheated you out of on your $212 purchase. I mean, come on. I'm standing here behind you waiting to purchase my 2 little towels and you're up there pitching a fit over $.45. I'll gladly pay you $5.00 if it means you leave and I don't have to listen to you anymore. In fact, here, take all the cash in my wallet - just take it and LEAVE. I'm so sure that the cashier was watching for you to come so she could scam you out of $.45. She's likely been hatching this evil, evil plan for weeks. Thinking about it at night, giggling maniacally at the thought of how she was going to really give you the shaft. Is it really necessary to use language like that? Arrrhhhh... next time I'll just steal the towels. Prison is better than standing in line behind you!

Why must people douse themselves with 5 ounces of perfume/cologne before leaving their home? I don't think that wearing a gas mask is going to help my image much - but if I don't, I'm likely to be like our fish out of water. Gasping my final breath as I flop about on the floor.

Perfume: a substance, extract, or preparation for diffusing or imparting an agreeable or attractive smell (dictionary.com)

See that? Any perfume in industrial portions isn't going to smell too nice anymore. Less is more. Bigger is not better. Next time, try just 2 little spritzes or consider bathing a bit more often. Liberal doses of your favorite Walmart perfume cannot hide the fact that you stink. Bad.

suicidal fish

Thursday, January 11, 2007

We've had 3 deaths in the family over the past 3 days. On Tuesday we went to Petco (where the pets go!) to get a few more fish for our 55 gallon tank. I was immediately struck with the Giant Danio (photo below).



Our tank is set up to look like a pond or lake. We had real plants at one point but they kept getting eaten and caused the water to go murky and scummy, so we pitched those and got some fakers instead. The really long/tall kind that anchor to the bottom and then float across the top. They're covered with moss and algae now so they're pretty realistic looking and give us the look we wanted - Lake Dwellers.



our fish tank - horrid photo

So anyway, these Giant Danios look remarkably similar to the minnows that swim about in the lake we visit every summer. Lake Sutherland, west of Port Angeles, WA. When I saw them I knew I HAD to get them. So, we got 5 at $3.00 each. Pretty cheap, all things considered.

Got them home and what fun. They schooled together and zoomed around the tank. Fed them later that night and went to bed. The next morning I'm wandering past the tank and I'm thinking that something looks off. I only see 4 Danios. Where is the 5th one? I spend 10 minutes peering on top of and all around the outside of the tank - looking inside for the obviously elusive Danio. Weirdness - it's like he vanished. We go about our day and then later that afternoon I'm still puzzled to see that I can't find him.

I'm sitting on the sofa looking at the tank when it suddenly occurs to me that he jumped. As in right out of the tank and into our world. Without water. Sure enough, there is his stiff-as-a-board little body laying about 2 feet from the tank. What a stupid fish! Didn't he/she know that fish can't live in our world?!

He has a memorial in the garbage can and I take some aluminum foil and cover the gap between the lid light and the front of the filter system hanging off the back. That'll fix 'em!

Next morning, only 3 Danios. What? Another look around inside and then outside the tank - no Danio to be found. Ok - they're the second biggest fish in the tank so he couldn't have been eaten. Bizarre.

Today, 2 Danios left. It's like their being teleported out of the tank and to another dimension or something. I don't see their little bodies lying about anywhere so we figure that they're behind the tank stand (a big piece of rustic Mexican furniture that ain't moving unti the tank is drained) having figured another way out of the tank.

I don't know what's so bad about their home that they need to off themselves. They get dried bloodworms and color flakes every night and every 2-3 days, they get a bloodworm "gumball" - yes, it's about as appetizing as it sounds. Frozen bloodworm formed into a "gumball" shape. So it's not like they're going to find a better life somewhere else.

We've covered every possible crack and gap with aluminum foil. Hopefully tomorrow morning will find 2 Danios still. If not, once they're gone, I dunno that we'll be getting new ones. Suicidal fish aren't exactly what we're wanting to stock our tank with...

psst.. wanna buy a bag?

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Check this out! I found this gal from a forum that I'm on. I forget now what she had posted, but I was curious about her site so I clicked on the link in her signature. You know those defining moments? When you do something that will radically change the course of your life? You might not know at the time, but that one action will change you forever... well, this was not one of those times. But almost!



Susan of Basement Bags makes some of the nicest handmade bags I've ever seen. Immediately upon viewing her site, I placed an order for one of my sisters. I had it monogrammed with her initials and when it arrived, I couldn't believe how utterly adorable it was. The craftsmanship is superb. Not a single loose thread to be seen. No uneven seams. I could find no fault with it. In fact, it was so perfect, I immediately placed an order for my other 4 sisters and my mom. This Christmas would be the "year of the purses." I was so excited!


She has such an assortment that it was an easy task to pick a bag that would match the personality and character of each of my siblings and my mother. Curious about what I ordered? I'll clue you in...

For the sister beneath me (I'm the oldest), I purchased this one: Avery. She loves yellow and while not a real girly-girl, she does like to have fun with accessories so I figured this was a perfect pick.

For the next sister (the original bag I purchased): Brown & Pink Polka-Dots. She's into shabby chic and LOVES brown and pink so I knew she'd love this one! This is one of the two girly-girl sisters... she likes to call herself a Diva. And what better for a Diva than a polka dot bag!

The next sister received this one: Royal Flush. None of us are "goth" but if one sister was going to toe the line, it would be this one. Most of her outfits have some form of black and she's into the darker colors. The style is understated as she's not a girly-girl *at all* so the slightly "posh" look of this one suited her to a T.

The next sister is another of the girly-girls. She's the second diva in the family and when I saw this bag, I knew it was the one. Chocolate Dots. (pictured below)



The last sister is both tomboy and a bit girly so this would be difficult. That is until I laid eyes on this little gem! Teal Teaser. Bold and funky - the perfect fit a teen girl that wants to be in fashion!

And finally, mom. This was tricky. Mom is very laid back and wouldn't really be the type to step out with a flam handbag so I had to find something that was understated and wouldn't necessarily draw alot of attention. I found it here! Khaki Eyelash. Gorgeous and SO mom!

We were up in WA for the family Christmas and all but one sister was there. I was SO excited to have them open the purses! I'd stuffed them with some tea, soaps, and a few other little gifts I'd picked up here and there. They were a huge hit. The next day we went to a local spa for a pedicure (compliments of Dad! he got all the girls (and mom) a pedicure - how cool is that?!) and everyone took their new purses. We went and did a bit of shopping before and after and from the moment we left the house, they were receiving compliments on the purses. It was awesome!



If you're looking for a quality handmade bag, you simply cannot go wrong with Basement Bags.. Susan is excellent to work with and even gladly repaired a slightly wonky fastener on my mom's purse. In fact, she even threw in a cosmetic bag as an extra for the trouble of having to send it in. You just don't see customer service like this much anymore.

Now it's time for me to purchase a bag. And if anyone is wondering, this is the one I've got my eye on! Black & White Toile. This is *definitely* me. To a T!

What are you still doing here? Get over to Basement Bags and buy yourself a bag today!

fire 'em both!

Monday, January 08, 2007

Confession time. I am a reality show junkie. I eagerly await each new season of Survivor (and why can't they do it in the artic or somewhere cold?), The Amazing Race, The Apprentice, The Biggest Loser, and even Extreme Makeover (NOT the Home Edition). And I'm not alone. J is just as eager to join me on the sofa as we watch each episode. So it was with great excitement that we sat down to watch the latest season of the Apprentice.

What fun. The Have's and the Have Not's. It just doesn't get any better than this. The dawning realization on the losing team's faces when it reality of their loss set in was priceless. Sleeping in a tent in the yard of a mansion - what a sweet loss! Haha.

But anyway, what's with the contestants this season? Is it just me (no, it's not because J commented on it as well) - they all look like models. Where are the real people? Where's the pudgy, balding man with glasses and pocket protectors? Where is the female that doesn't look like she models on the side? Give me a break.

"See if you've got what it takes to become the next apprentice! (Sorry, ugly fat people need not apply)."

I can see it now. The floor in the office where tapes are reviewed is likely littered with the videos, photos, and resumes of the unfortunate saps that just didn't cut it in the looks department. Bitter? Umm, no. I didn't apply! I KNOW I wouldn't make it past the first 2 seconds of viewing. Regardless, I have no need to publicly humiliate myself on national TV kissing the flabby rear of the Duck. But I digress.

The guy who was fired? Martin? Irritating in the extreme. From the moment he opened his mouth I knew he'd be gone soon. The guy could give lessons in putting on airs. Oy. I would gladly volunteer to hold his head under water. And Frank? If I was on the show, I'd have knocked him out 2 minutes into the whole tent thing. He'll never make it in this competition. Someone needs to buy him some Imodium for his running mouth. Did he shut up even once? He was like a 3 month old hyperspastic puppy bouncing around the house. I'd kick that dog and I'd kick Frank too. (Well, ok. I wouldn't kick the adorable puppy. But that's because insane energy and energetic yapping are tolerable in a puppy. NOT tolerable in that New Yawker.)

I think the Duck should have fired them both. Heck, he should have thrown half the people outta there. I really wonder why some of these folks are chosen. College educated does not equal intelligence. And what's with all the laywers? Urgh.

Interesting that both Caroline and George are gone. Hmmm...maybe George finally passed on. What was he, 90? Caroline had the nerve to try to capitalize on her fame for her own gain. You'd think the Duck would applaud drive like that.

I'll leave it at that. If I continue, I may have to dive down into the Rosie and Duck feud. J is loving that. He's having just loads fun reading all about their verbal sparring. Hysterical. Ok, I'm out!

bye-bye tucson

Sunday, January 07, 2007

We're going to move this summer. After 3 flights to Seattle over the past 4 months, we decided that living closer to family is a Good Thing and something we're really wanting to do. Both my family and J's family live in the area so it'll be nice to drive over for a visit rather than battling the airport crowds and security and then hassling with a rental car upon landing. Plus, airfare adds up after a bit.

And I'm really excited because in WA state, one can make food products for sale in their home so long as it's in a separate kitchen. Glory be. No more shlupping everything back and forth between our home and the commercial kitchen we rent. That's such a monstrous pain. We're looking at getting a home with a MIL suite and will use that for the food businesses, Spoon Fudge and Glutenada. This will make our lives so much easier and will allow us to ramp up production.

We put our house on the market in April and we hope to have it sold and be out by the beginning/middle of July when we take our summer vacation up to WA. No sense going up there twice - we want to move up in time for vacation and just stay there. How glorious that will be. Last year J and I drove up in 3 days (stopping in Vegas to catch Celine Dion - that was awesome. The concert, not Vegas. We were so NOT impressed with that town. Dirty and rundown. We won't be returning.) and then came back 4 weeks later with our son (he'd flown up ahead of us on the way there) and made that trip back, all 1850 miles, in 2.5 days. We were supposed to do it in 2 days but after our son left his DS game at a local Walmart (don't ask) and we had to go back to find it and we got lost and ended up stuck on a freeway from which there was NO way off - 6 hours had been blown.

What a nightmare that whole trip home was. From not leaving Seattle until 7pm, to getting pulled over at 3am by a tropper in southern OR, to stopping for dinner in the middle of CA at a nasty NASTY Denny's (where the rather unkempt looking teenage male cashier was accepting a proposition from an older truck driver - yes, we *ran* from that joint), to the whole Nintendo/WM fiasco... and then trying to find a hotel in Palm Springs at 3am. We were glad to be home and were not looking forward to our next trip. But now that we've decided on the big move, a sigh of relief has gone through the house.

This year promises to be big. The move, launching Glutenada, and our first full year with Spoon Fudge. And of course, our annual Disneyland trip in 2 weeks. Woo! 2007 is shaping up to be excellent!